With: The Winchester brothers

Where: Some random motel room in the middle of America.

Why we’d like to go: Dean Winchester’s a borderline alcoholic anyway, but on New Year’s Eve he excels himself and gets properly, amusingly drunk… and so does Sam. Hilarious tales of prank wars, comedic hunts and general saving-the-world tomfoolery ensue.

Entertainment: Two hours of American rock played way too loudly until the motel manager knocks on the door and asks them to turn it down. Ten minutes later she’s in the room with the guys drinking tequila because Dean doesn’t like the idea of her seeing in the New Year on her own in the crummy motel office. Plus, as he tells Sam in a stage whisper she can’t help but overhear, “She’s a MILF – ‘motelier I’d like to…’”

Sam’s response is: “Where did you learn the word ‘motelier’?”

Highlight of the evening: Castiel stopping by and the motel manager shrieking and spilling her drink because he appeared out of nowhere.

Lowlights of the evening: Castiel giving them all a lecture on how the passing of one year into another is a purely human invention and means nothing in the greater order of the cosmos, particularly when he’s seen so many years come and go in his thousands of eons on the planet that he’s learned not to count them because it’s ultimately depressing how little changes – people still fight each other, demons still try to manipulate everybody, and God still won’t show His face.

While everybody’s recovering from Cas being such a downer, who should knock on the door but Crowley? After making some wisecrack about how he’s there to see if the brothers will snog at midnight, he tries to kill them.

So basically a New Year’s Eve with the Winchesters is the same as every other night of the year. Can’t say we’re surprised.

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